Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Art of Marriage, By Seetha

Keeping romance alive is one of the greatest challenges in a marriage, feels Seetha, Author of this article.

About the author, Spinster, Gud looking and an unbearable Nai Nai, God knows where she finds those questions to ask me, all killing questions. She works with TCS- Chennai, an INFP by Myer Brigg personality type indicator standards, lives on feelings and expectations. Loves the word LOVE from the root and firmly believes that LOVE keeps our earth spinning. No comments for your question as to why a Spinster’s writing an article upon the art of marriage, I said ‘Absolutely No Comments’, over to the article.

What makes a good marriage? If a couple desires to have a great marriage, will it just happen? Is it a matter of luck, a matter of timing or a matter of love? Is it about determination and commitment? What is it about?

I do think, Marriage is an answer to a longstanding human tradition. Otherwise, the art of marriage has to be learned. It, like parenthood, comes with no instructions! So marriage maybe one program for you and maybe another one for me, no need that the instruction set should be the same for both of us.

We all have expectations of a marriage. We ask for companionship. We call for a friend who will stand by us. We want a person who believes in us, who can laugh with us. We want a person with whom we don't have to pretend. We expect that person to see us as unique and irreplaceable. We want someone not just to share our life with but to build a life with. But does everything work out the way we expect it to be? Do things change after marriage? Do we change after marriage? Is it a problem?

Yep, People change. But if feel in a marriage, if both of them could change together, there is no need to grow apart. So, how to keep things going?

What with the work culture nowadays, we all work long hours, travel extensively. Family and career are mixed together and it’s all confusion out there. Women works extensively these days, workplace demands are high and women are unwilling to compromise. So what is gonna happen? What should we do? Where do you think we are gonna end up with this?
I feel there are three basic rules. They may not work out to be the perfect formula for the marriage equation, but, I feel that they form the basic variables atleast. Let’s see what they are.

Well, in successful marriages, the partners must form a single unit. Whatever the differences of opinion, when it comes to the rest of the world, it is important to present a united front. The trust that comes from knowing that the other will not let you down and will always stand by you is irreplaceable and priceless. Rule no 1 – We two against the world.

Laughter is the catalyst which is gonna make love bloom. Adapt to changes, some things are gonna go wrong. Be ready to accept it. You are to compromise if you are to get it smooth. You can’t be intangible as it is not only about you - it involves another entity which thinks too. Keep in mind, never let go your partner. A happy, lasting marriage is challenged and rebuilt every day. It takes commitment to move on this journey together. Rule no 2 – Love and Laugh, always always.

Marriage is like handling a new engine. The initial period is very important. Run it cautiously, The passion and ardor of the early years of a relationship will eventually evolve into a deep glow of devotion and contentment. Keeping the romance alive is one of the greatest challenges in a marriage. Couples in long, satisfying marriages always reiterate that romance should never be relegated to the back seat. Its only when romance fades infidelity happens. Remember faithfulness is a cornerstone in this arena. Rule no 3 – Be true and keep the romance going.

A good marriage is not only about marrying the right partner; it's about being the right partner. It is not just a commitment to a person; it is a commitment to the marriage itself. It is not just entering a relationship; it is not allowing oneself an exit route.
Do you remember this song, "I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, because you're mine, I walk the line." That sums it up.
Genie talk - Thanks for the article, hope to see you as a guest author again soon.

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